This past week was the first week I have felt normal in about a month. I have so much to look forward to in the coming months, and it just occurred to me this week that I don’t always have to have my guard up in fear of being let down again.
I’m still nervous and scared, but I have a strong trust deep down that this is finally my time. I have a peace that I didn’t have before, and I know there’s a reason for it. I am hoping and praying that my blog is noticed by the RESOLVE committee and recognized as a finalist for the “best blog” award for 2012, but I know better than to put all my eggs in that basket. I can imagine myself at the podium giving a speech about how infertility has impacted me and the opportunity to share my story and foundation in such a big way overwhelms me.
My first NIAW week was special; I was reminded each day that I am not alone in this battle, and that our community of women dealing with infertility is unstoppable. We were asked to become a part of another fertility foundation, which was a huge compliment. However, we feel that this happened to us to shape and change us, and not take the easy route. Although partnering with another group in NC would take a lot of the leg work out of what we are about to do, we feel like we need to go through the trials of getting our foundation established in order for it to be legitimized. We survived everything nearly 5 months ago so that something great could come out of it, and that’s what we intend to do. We knew coming in to this that it would be tough, and we are prepared for the road ahead of us this time; we won’t be blindsided by the difficulties that lie ahead, because we have committed ourselves to RWF just as we will be committed parents to our future children.
We are so excited to be starting our IVF treatment at REACH. Now being on the “inside” of this process, we have a new perspective on the road it took to get this far. In retrospect, we had no idea that we would be capable of so much in such a short time. Selecting our surrogate, transferring records, initial appointments, psychological evaluations and blood testing, and creating a contract saying that we are the parents to a baby in another woman’s womb; who would have ever thought this would be in our life plan. This week will bring closure to the legalities of our surrogacy; we will be finalizing our legal contract and next week signing it along with Kristen & Lee (our surrogate and her husband). The next step is Kristen and my regulatory birth control cycle, to begin the synchronization of our bodies for reception of my embryo. Cheers to a hormonal May, and the imminent hellacious June of fertility drugs that lies ahead!
Big things are coming and we have open hearts ready to receive the good, the bad and the seemingly impossible. We are at the forefront of this battle with a huge following of supporters behind us who are willing to catch us if we fall, so onward!